This month marks 5 years since the dreadful nightmare of May 2007.
5 years ago, our world turned upside down. As newlyweds in the midst of a blissful fairlytale, that all quickly changed into a dreaded nightmare.We were faced with difficulties and tragedies that we weren’t expecting.
Isn’t it interesting that most of the things that we worry about rarely ever happen and when tragedy strikes it’s something we never even considered?
So what exactly happened to my health? What is midgut volvulus? It’s also called malrotation of the bowel, by the way. That’s a very common question that people ask me.
I wanted to know that myself. After all the surgeries and being sedated with all the medication, I finally came to and had no idea what happened. My last memory was being rushed through the doors of the OR and then snatches of medical personnel all around me, my husband and parents in and out of the room, being wheeled around the hospital to the OR for numerous surgeries, etc. I knew something really serious had happened to me, but I couldn’t figure out what it was.
Midgut volvulus is when a part of the intestines twists abnormally on itselt, cutting off circulation to the part of the bowel that is below the twist. It’s kind of like a garden hose that you fold in half and the water supply is cut off, even though the water is still turned on. If it’s not discovered quickly enough, it causes the tissue to become necrotic (dead/black). If the bowel is necrotic it can cause sepsis (infection). That is what happened to me.
On Saturday morning, May 19, 2007, I started having abdominal pain. I wasn’t really concerned. After all, I thought of myself as a tough girl and I figured that this pain was just a few Braxton Hick’s contractions. Nothing I couldn’t handle. I took it easy that day, but the pain started to intensify as the day progressed. I had no apppetite and I remember that the only thing I could eat was a pear.
I was working that night, so I got dressed and went to work. By this time, my pain had gotten much worse. It was coming in spasms of intermittent pain, each one progressively worse than the last. It sounded just like contractions, or so I thought. I finished getting report on my patients, but the pain was starting to scare me, especially since it was closer and closer together. I called my mom, who was working that night, and who also happens to be Labor and Delivery nurse. I left work, picked up my husband and after calling the doctor, we drove to the hospital.
On the way to the hospital, I started feeling another bout of pain coming on, this time with such intensity, I thought I would lose consiousness. I had never felt such excuciating pain in my life. It was so sharp and stabbing, I could barely breathe. All I could do was scream a prayer, and that God would please take care of our baby. I yelled at Sergi to start praying. He broke all the speed limits on the way there. By the time we got to the hospital, the pain had subsided again. I got checked in, signed some paperwork, changed into a gown… all the usual stuff that I could do in my sleep to my patients. This time, I was the patient. They drew some blood for labs, put in an IV and told me that I wasn’t dilated or having contractions. What?
By this time, another bout of pain came on, even worse than last time. Through my pain and agony, I saw the doctor enter the room. I couldn’t focus, I couldn’t think, I couldn’t talk. All I could do was moan and writhe in pain. The doctor was trying to assess me. He asked me where the pain was. I told him it was thorughout my whole abdomen. He sounded frustrated.
“Olga, you have to work with us. Show me where the pain is.” I shook my head. “It’s everywhere.” He sighed. “Point to where the pain is.” I vaguely pointed towards the center of my protruding belly. What did they want me to do? How was I supposed to isolate the focus of my pain and “Point” to it, when it went all the way through me?
I could already imagine what they were going to rule out. I was right. Over the next two days they tested me for appendicitis, cholecystitis, urinary infection, renal stones, gall stones.
Meanwhile, I was drifting in and out of a hazy, pain-filled existence. The only thing I could focus on was the extreme pain. All I did was sleep and then be rudely awakened by the pain that was so extreme at this point I thought I would die. I stayed curled up on the bed, not moving, scarcely breathing. I had so much blood drawn for different labs and was constantly on the fetal monitor.
The baby was ok. She was perfectly healthy. They did ultrasounds every once in a while. Nothing to worry about. I couldn’t understand what was happening. I only wished they could figure out what was wrong with me so this pain would go away.
I’ll never forget being taken down to get a CT scan. Every jolt on the stretcher ripped right through my body.
Finally, on May 21, 2007, my surgeon decided to take me to surgery. Exploratory laprascopic surgery. There were risks involved. My husband signed the consent. They told us they would do everything possible not to deliver the baby, since she was still a preemie, seven months.
I saw them all gathered beyond my stretcher. Doctors, nurses, hospital administrators. They were talking about me. I didn’t care. I just wanted the pain to fade away. Or at least decrease. My husband was by my side every second, holding my hand, calling my worried parents. He was my rock. He was my strength and I clung to him.
They drew more bloodwork. A nurse came to check the baby’s heartbeat. “How is she? Is the baby ok?” I asked. “The baby is great. Her heartbeat is perfectly normal, nice and strong.” A few minutes later, I felt my world starting to crash, my focus to fade and I could hearing rushing, worried people all around me. I could hear them saying that my blood pressure was dropping, pulse was racing, I was going into shock. My stretcher was raced to the OR. I saw the hallway drawing closer, and then everything went black.
My husband sat in the surgery waiting room. It was late. He was alone. He prayed, but didn’t know what to say. “God, I know I should pray, but I don’t know what to pray about. Nobody knows what is going on with my wife.” All of a sudden, he knew exaclty what to say to God. It was as though He heard God say the words “Bless my name.” “Yes, may the name of the Lord be blessed.” The peace that filled that room was beyond what could be understood. It completely engulfed him. He sat there, waiting, waiting.
The OB doctor walked into the waiting room. Her face was white and etched with fear.
“I’m sorry. The baby is gone and we are fighting to save your wife’s life.”
Those words turned his world upside down. It was hard to comprehend what it all meant. We knew there were risks, but the baby was dead? She was just fine a few minutes before they rolled Olga into surgery. They said her hearbeat was nice and strong. There were fighting to save Olga’s life? How could this be happening?
Sergi called my parents. They dropped everything, got in the car and drove straight to Florida, Mom crying, Dad completely silent. They only stopped for gas, not eating or even drinking a sip of water. Every time the phone rang their hearts sank with dread. If they saw it was Sergi, they were terrified at what he would say. What if he was calling to say that their daughter was dead?
When they opened me up in the OR they saw that all my intestines had become black and necrotic. It was useless to do anything at this point. They would have to cut it all out, but a person can’t survive without any intestines. They “untwisted” the intestines and stapled me back up. I was taken to the Intensive Care Unit.
When Sergi came in to see me, he was shocked and could barely recognize me.
I was hooked up to so many wires and was given so much fluids to keep my blood pressure up and pulse down that I was filled with fluid and it was leaking around my IVs. The room was so loud with all the IV pumps running as fast as they could go and the ventilator had such an eery beep.
From that point on, it was a matter or survival. I was constantly feverish, my pulse wildly racing, my oxygen dropping. When my husband and parents spoke to the surgeon, he explained what had happened, drawing illustrations to make it easier to understand.
He wrote 5% on the peice of paper. “5%. That’s her chance for survival.”
I had five surgeries that week.
Each time, they would open me up and see if there was anything they could salvage. Parts of the black tissue were turning gray. They ended up cutting out 3/4 of my small intestine and 1/2 of the large intestine. We had a funeral for our baby girl, Ariana Joy.
I spent about a month and a half in the ICU, slowly recuperating, on numerous antibiotics, fighting the infection that had run rampid through my body.
We lived one day at a time, with the strength that only God can give. Sometimes, you don’t have a choice to be strong, you just have to go on because that’s the only option. Sometimes, life throws unexpected things our way and that’s when we put one foot in front of the other, and live through one moment at a time hoping for the best, knowing that tomorrow will be another day.
My mom would always tell me that someday we will look back and remember this whole exprience like a bad dream. That is so true. Five years has already flown by, and it’s hard to believe that we actually went through this experience. It is a bad dream that was so real at the time.
When I was a teenager, I once told my Dad that it’s great that God never gives us more than we can handle. Dad, in his great wisdom, said that what we think we can or can’d handle is different than what God knows we can.
“For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.” 2 Corinthians 1:8-9.
God has been so good to us. From all the 7 billion people in the world today, he noticed me personally and performed a miracle. That is astounding to me, and I still am amazed that He chose to let me live and be healthy, inspite of all the doctors’ predictions.
“The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust. Our days on earth are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die. The wind blows, and we are gone— as though we had never been here. But the love of the Lord remains forever with those who fear him. ” Psalm 103:13-18.
Life is so fragile and precious. I never want to forget those days in the ICU and be thankful for the second chance at life and make the most of the gift of life that God has given me.
Reading all this just breaks my heart! I cannot imagine all the pain and suffering you two have gone through at such an early stage in your life and your marriage! I agree with you completely when you say that we worry about the smallest things, yet never know what’s lurking around the corner. How important it is for us to always leave everything in God’s hands! I cannot believe it’s been 5 years already! Olga we are so thankful to God that you are here with us (well kind of, MN is kinda far away :)) That you are healthy and happy and have embarked on this amazing journey to adopt! We wish you both God’s utmost blessing in everything you do! I hope your life is filled with nothing but joy! I’d like to think of all the tragedy that has happened, God put everything that could possibly go wrong, have you live through it all at once, and now that you are a SURVIVOR through His Grace, the rest of your life will be smooth sailing! God bless you and Sergi!
Thanks Yelena, we are so touched by all the incredible people who were praying for us, supporting us and loving us. We really felt all your prayers. We couldn’t have done it alone. We are excited about our future but will always be thankful for the past, because it formed who we are today.
Wow, thank you for sharing your story…I thank God for you -living miracle, Olichka…..
God Bless you guys and I think its amazing that you are sharing your very personal story with others. I remember coming to visit you, it was so scary seeing you like that! Thank God that he has changed everything around, may he use every aspect of your lives for His glory!
Olga and Sergi, your life is an example to many of Gods true miraculous ways and His endless mercy! We as humans cant comprehend at times His ways and understand fully why certain things happen. But He’s always in control! I remember May 2007 pretty well as I was preparing to depart for my first missions trip with Message band. We prayed for you Olga everyday on the mission field and asked God for your full recovery and healing. Looking at you today we can gladly say that our prayers have been answered! Olga you have been such an inspiration to me personally and I know God has amazing and wonderful things in store for you and ur family!!!
~ Romans 8:28
Just recently I heard this :”You may not understand everything you are going through. But hold your head up high, knowing that God is in control and he has a great plan and purpose for your life. Your dreams may not have turned out exactly as you’d hoped, but the bible says that God’s ways are better and higher than our ways.” I completely agree with this statement.
God takes our struggles, pain and trials and changes them around as a testimony of his goodness. The pain slowly fades away and memories stay with us as a reminder. It shapes us makes us who we are today.
You and Sergei are a very special couple!!!! Many blessings to you guys!!!
Olga, thank you for sharing your story. I’m just speachless; I had no Idea you’ve been through so much! It’s heartbreaking and I’m so sorry for your loss of your baby girl. Your hubby sounds like an amazing man. May God bless you and your husband in the adoption and in every area of your lives! I’m praising God that he brought you back to life and an abundant life!
Wow Olga! Thank you for sharing. It makes me realize a lot of things but mostly just how amazing God really is and how He never leaves us. There is so much joy after restoration and I am sure this was all part of His perfect plan as hard as it is sometimes for us to believe. You are not just a great cook/blogger but truly an inspiration and encouragement. Deffinitly makes me appreciate and value my children more. Its stories like this that are constant reminders of so much. Praying for your adoption process and the children that are waiting for you 🙂 Be blessd!!!!
“I still am amazed that He chose to let me live and be healthy, inspite of all the doctors’ predictions.”
It may just be an unfortunate choice of words, but it sounds like He saved you while the doctors were there just to make their bad predictions.
In your place I would show a bit of gratitude to all those who were part of your care and truly helped you survive.
Actually, John, I am VERY thankful to all the wonderful, caring medical professionals who took care of me. I am especially close to my surgeon, who is like family to me today.
What I didn’t mention in the post is that my GI doctor predicted that I would be on tube feedings or TPN all my life and would not be able to eat and absorb food like most normal people, not to mention that the doctors didn’t think I would survive in the first place. As a nurse, I completely understand where they were coming from, because scientifically and medically, it doesn’t make sense to me either, how I lived through a such an extreme sepsis and have been eating and absorbing food normally for the past few years.
In your place??? Did you seriously just say that. That choice of words shows that you have no idea what you are talking about.
Olga and Sergi,
I am so sorry that you had to endure such tragedy at such a young age. I recall working with Your mom Olga, and asking about you and the family, your story is heartbreaking. Ariana Joy is beautiful. I wish that things had turned out differently for you. I am very glad to see and hear about your recovery. Yes Dear, you are very blessed. I wish you both the best. God definitely has a plan. You and your family will always be in my prayers. God Bless you.
Olga, This story made me cry my eyes out, God and only God can do what he did.Yes the doctors hands were blessed and they were doing there job.But the glory and thanks is only to our God, You are very beautiful, May God bless you and your husband.And also i just recently found your site for cooking, thank you for the greatest recipes.
this is so precious! I dont even know what to say…you’re such a fighter and praise God for all the strength He has given…this story is so moving. Wow! I remember when all of this actually happened. God bless you both, and may He bless the adoption process and your soon to be beautiful litttle family! You are both so, so blessed and an encouragement for those around you!!!
Oh I seriously cried while reading this. I felt like I was reliving the moment we visited you while you were unconscious. The way you wrote this is detailed and realistic, it creates a bittersweet feeling. I am just so incredibly happy that you are healthy, breathing, living, and now expanding your family!Thank God for all of this. Love you both!
Thank you so much for sharing this story. Your faith is inspiring. My mom went through something similar in 2007 (though she was not pregnant) and spent 5 months in the hospital. So scary, as I imagine is was for you as well. I am so sorry for the loss of your baby girl. I imagine she is sitting on our Father’s knee, lavished with his loving kindness until you are with her again. xo
Wow what a story. I had tears in my eyes reading it. You are so young to live through this much. Our God is amazing.I wish you the best in adoption. God bless you and your family.
I think only God knows all of the many reasons of why you and Sergi went through all that you went through. I have Kodak moments myself during your time of trial and suffering. I remember all of us on Shaffer 4 going into the CN III office and holding hands praying for you. It brings tears to my eyes, joyful tears really, of us all coming together, many different faiths, coming together praying. How beautiful when I think of it now. I remember sitting by your bedside and slipping the bracelet on you letting you know that this was a gift from your co-workers, a symbol of our love for you. That was a time that many turned to God. And it is good that you post this for all to reflect on. For all of us to remember to turn to God in good times and bad times. To praise him and Glorify him. I would like to think that Hope,
my little girl and Ariana is up in heaven sharing laughter with Jesus. God bless you both and I keep you in my prayers. Thanks again for sharing.
Thank you Anne-Marie for your support and encouragement.
I will always remember the wonderful staff on 4 North and how many of you came to visit me in the ICU. I still have the necklace and always think of all of you when I see it:).
God has been so good to us and we will always be thankful for this experience.
It is so comforting to know that Ariana is with God right now. I’m sure you know how I feel. What a beautiful name you chose for your daughter!
Wow this story has deeply touched me! Thank you so much for opening up and sharing your private pain! May God Bless your Beautiful family! As I sit here studying and preparing to finish my last year of medical school, your story has greatly given me the inspiration to persevere with my studies and realize that hopefully God can work through me to reach many lives. Your story has truly shed much light onto how a patient and their family feel in such trying, life and death moments. Thank you, thank you!
I happened on this blog through your amazing cooking blog, it has been such a help, particularly in my first 2 years of marriage. I hope you know that God is reaching many lives and hearts through your story.
Hi Sveta!
I am a nurse, so I definitely got to see what patients and family members experience. It was very eye opening. We are so thankful that God was right beside us the whole time, giving us strength and encouragement. We could have never done it without Him. We got so much closer to each other too. God has a way of creating beautiful stories from every part of our lives.
Thanks for sharing your story – I am so sorry for what happened to you and everything you guys went through! I am sorry for the loss of your little girl! What a miracle that you are where you are today! God bless you! I pray all goes well with your adoption proceedings and that you guys become parents soon!
Thank you Natalie!
We are so thankful that we serve a mighty God who is all powerful and is in control of everything.
I woke up today and just wanted to spend time with my God after a very hard working week. I just wanted a quiet time with Him. I saw on Facebook post about you and opened it. Olga, you made me crying, it is the best spiritual meal I got in the morning. I can feel your sweet spirit through your writing. God bless both of you. I am a nurse too. In 2002 God healed me too. He gave me second chance to live. People who got it will never be the same. They appreciate every day of their life.
Wow this story is very touching, Olga i just recently found you cooking site but i’d never thought that you already went through so much, God is amazing and He has a special journey for you two. May our Lord bless you in everything you do! Thank you for sharing your story, it makes us others to be even more thankful for what we have
Thank you, Oksana! GOd is amazing and I am so thankful He was by our side giving us strength the whole time.
Olga!! I am so so sorry to hear about what u had to go through! You are such a strong woman, I could not just read all this without crying!! It is so sad!! I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks in march of 2011. And I still can’t believe it happened to me! I was very sick, very depressed and anxious! You are so strong that you lived thought this all! You look very happy and beautiful! May God bless you and your husband! I wish you all the best !! And that you can soon feel the joy of being a mom! 🙂 I have a 4 year old!!! And just wanted to say that ur hubby is a good hubby that he supported you and we’re there for you this whole time! Thank you for sharing ur story! It touched me a lot!!!!!!
Hi Natasha,
Thank you for your encouraging words. I’m so sorry for your loss.
My husband is wonderful. He is God’s gift to me in my life. I really can’t even imagine going through all of this without him. He was and always is my rock. I think it was a lot harder for him then for me. It’s harder to watch someone you love suffer than it is to go through it yourself. He had so much sorrow to go through himself, losing our daughter and worrying if I would live, but he had to stay strong for me.
Oh my goodness Olga 😦 I’m so sorry you had to go through this 😦 there is so many things that we just don’t understand, but hopefully one day, we will find out why things happened the way they did. I am just so thankful to God that you not only lived through the experience but lived with no no side effects and doctor’s predicaments were not true!
On the last picture (in the hospital) were you trached?
Hi Marina,
It’s in the past and thank God that He carried us through and gave us strength. We learned so much from all this and go so much closer together too. God has blessed us SO much. We will be forever grateful.
Yes, I was trached. I had just about every tube, line and procedure that you could think of:). When I think of all the skills that we learned in Nursing school and had to be tested on, I probably would never imagine that I would experience almost all of them on myself!
Experiences like this definitely change your life forever. My daughter is trached, so ‘every tube imaginable’ is a definition all too familiar to myself and I am not even a nurse, just a regular mom.
Was the decision to put it in made by you or was it made for you? Was it supposed to be a permanent or a temporary fix? Did they ever tell you what has caused for this whole thing to happen? I remember when I was a little kid my mom would always tell me not to eat hot bread because something like this is going to happen. I have no idea how the two are related and wonder if it was just something she would say to keep us kids from eating hot bread, or there is some kind of a connection…
Hi Marina,
I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter being trached. That is probably the worst, to see your child going through those hardships.
I was in a very critical position at the point when I was trached. The decision was made by my doctors, husband and parents. I was ventilated at first, (which is when they put a tube down your throat that gives you oxygen and it breathes for you.) You can’t be ventilated for too long, since the tube can damage your trachea if it’s there for an extended amount of time. I was still not stable enough to breathe on my own, so they had to trach me. I had the trach for a few weeks only and then was gradually weaned off. I still have a scar today, but I didn’t have any issues with breathing once they weaned me off.
There are many reasons why people would get a trach. They make an opening into the trachea to help a person breathe.
Eating hot bread would not be a reason to get a trach. You wouldn’t be able to swallow the bread if it was too hot to do any damage.
Oh I know why they put the trachs in, I was asking more on your original condition that put you in the hospital in the first place (the thing with the intestines).
As to my daughter, yeah, it’s definitely not easy, but we manage, taking one day at a time, and she’s ventilated during sleep, so I am know all about those things too)) she’s a great kid though, a little stubborn, but aren’t we all at times?)))
Nobody knows what caused the midgut volvulus. I guess it will remain a mystery.
HI Olga, I recently found your cooking blog, and I enjoy it very much. I was crying while reading your story. I can only imagine what you and your husband went through losing your baby and fighting for your life. A year ago my sister almost lost her baby girl that was born with Dawn syndrome. Doctors didn’t tell her about the syndrome during pregnancy and when we found out it was a complete shock. It was such a hard time for all my family, especially her and her husband. But God is in control and you learn to trust Him at times like this. Anyway, I wish you all the best with adoption. You are going to be a wonderful parents to your kids. God is with you! And thank you again for your cooking blog; its awesome!
Hi Jasmine. I’m sorry that your sister had to go through such incredible loss and sorrow.
Thank you for your kind words and encouragement.
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I’ve been following your blog, you have interesting stories to share and God did an amazing thing in your life.
You are one strong women, may God keep you in His hands and bless you abundantly.
May i ask a question what could of cause the infection or what was the infection?
Hi Oksana,
The infection was caused by mid-gut volvulus. My intestines twisted around an artery, which cut off blood supply to the intestines and they became necrotic (dead). Whenever a part of the body is not receiving blood supply it will become necrotic, which causes infection and poisons the rest of the body.
found you through Natashaskitchen.
your adoption story first caught my eye and then gripped my whole heart. wow! God is good! so happy to see that you recovered from such an unimaginable bolezn. may your family be blessed with love and understanding, with strength and growth and all of the desires of your heart! God’s got a plan for you, so far it’s a pretty incredible story! I’ll keep checking up on you and start cooking some things, btw, you got an interesting technique for the chicken cordon bleu 😉
Hi Kristina,
Welcome! Thanks for stopping by:).
Wow, not much to add to all the previous comments! Praise the Lord for His works! It is very sad to find out that something like this so dreadful could happen to such a young, newly married couple, which was expecting and then lost their baby. Seams unfair, but we know that these hardships are straightening the marriage, if both hearts are truly surendered to God, relying on Him and of course the testimonies glorify Him.
It’s a God’s miracle – your survival and full recovery! Thank you so much for posting this amazing testimony! May God bless you and your husband, and leads you toward your dreams in Him!
And again, God Bless You!
Hi Oksana,
God really has been good to us and we are really thankful for His mercy in our life.
Thanks for your support.
Olga i just wanted to say im so sorry for what you and your family had to go throw i can only imagine what it felt like. Your such a strong woman i don’t think i would be able to go throw all that. Your such an inspiration to me, such a strong women i wish i was half as strong as you. Im so glad that i found your blog and i love it. You have such a beautiful family, and i hope and pray to God that everything with your adoption goes well and you meet your babies soon. May God continue to bless you and your family. All the best to both of you.
Hi Olga. My name is Natasha and we “spoke” before. Im the one who lost a baby on May 26 2007. I told you before that we were going to adopt 2 girls from foster care. Well adoption was final in September. I been thinking about you and the whole russian adoption thing going on. I hope every thing will be ok. Keep us posted.
I am truly sad that had to happen to you. I am so sad your little girl did not survive. You named her, just like I named my first child….God ways are truly so hard for us to understand… and I hoping and praying that you will still be able to become pregnant and have another baby soon.
I just read your awful story, Olya. I’m so sorry you and your husband (and family) had to go through all that heartbreak. But I”m so glad you’ve been able to adopt. What a beautiful child! I wish you all the best of luck from now on.
By the way: I can’t go along with the idea that God only gives people things they can handle. After much difficulty, I gave birth to my daughter 12 years ago, who is developmentally disabled and at this point is living at a residential school. It’s really the best place for her to get whatever therapies can help her. We don’t even have a diagnosis, and probably never will. She’s basically what in the old days we’d call retarded. I’m devastated and sometimes feel like I can’t go on; unlike, it seems, everyone around me. Oh, I’m in therapy, been off and on drugs that might help my depression but don’t, etc. It’s just been really difficult, and I really think God made a BIG mistake in my case! But please believe that I’m so glad things eventually worked out for you. You’re a special girl and deserve such happiness. xx
Hi demelzabunny,
I read your comment a couple days ago and my heart just bleeds with sadness, ever since. I am so sorry that you’re having to go through this. I also have hard time understanding what exactly it means when it says that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, because I myself (like you) have gone and am going through something that does at times seem unbearable for any human. I am not here to tell you that I know why things like that happen, or what is the best way to deal with them. I am just here to tell you that you’re not alone, there are others in situations just like yours or very close to yours. I have a 4 year girl that was born with a whole list of issues, some of which do include developmental delays, as well as other complicated medical conditions that require her to be on life support (ventilator) during sleep. It is very difficult to see her go through countless infections that make her sick…I really wish I knew why we have to go through, I wish I knew how we’re supposed to go through this, but I don’t.
I do know though, that when Job lost his physical possessions, lost his kids and was sick beyond any desire to live, he also had no idea why he had to go through what he did. He was alive, rotting away, with what I would think an enormous amount of pain. I bet he felt like he was abandoned by everyone including God himself (just like you and I might feel at times). It is difficult to imagine where he got the strength to not be angry at God and not curse God like his wife had told him to. But I think having an unconditional trust and love for God is what has helped him through it all. His situation most likely did not happen overnight, nor did it get fixed overnight, but he trusted the Lord that He will deliver him eventually.
It is easy to believe and say “I love you God” when everything is OK. When you’ve got a great family, healthy kids, enough money in your bank account to live comfortably…But that is not when our faith gets tested. It is when we do not get what we want, it is when we are uncomfortable and still are able to say “I love your Lord and I will trust you Lord” that our words are proven with actions.
You, I and others just like us have gotten it much worse than others. We have to do and deal with things that others could never understand, but the situation is not in our control – we can not do anything to have it a different way, so giving it into the hands of the Lord and letting him handle it is all we can do. He is the only One we can draw the desire to live and desire to go on from.
I did not come to teach you anything, I just wanted to encourage you and let you know that you’re not alone. In the end I want to give you a big big virtual hug! If you would like to talk some more, feel free to email me marina shaylitsa @ msn. com (remove spaces).
I wept reading this. Just seriously wept.
You are a walking miracle and I’m so so so sorry you lost your precious baby girl.
To be close to motherhood and than have it all just crash where you find yourself fighting for your life . . . It honestly leaves me speechless.
I’ve been following you on Instagram and Pinterest and absolutely fell in love with your growing family and recipes! Your story is very touching, I cried and cried re reading the story and how much God has blessed you. I’m myself in nursing school right now and struggling so much this semester and feel like my life is going to end if I don’t pass this semester. But seeing how you are a nurse (went through the awful schooling process) and then went through so much in your life, makes me feel like failing one semester isn’t the end of the world. I wish only the best for you and your wonderful husband and two little boys. May God bless you all abundantly! Thank you again for a very uplifting and blessed post! 🙂
I too have lost a child and have been grieving for months and honestly I’m still not over it…I’ve been angry at God, and depressed and sat home alone in bed because I didn’t even have the strength or desire to get out of bed…I am doing better each month but when that time comes around where I find out that once again I am not pregnant, I fall apart back to where I was. I am very blessed to have a supportive husband who cries with me, and shares my pain but I don’t know how much my heart could handle. The truth is I’m barely hanging on and reading your story just broke my heart and gave me the strength to keep going on…I don’t know what God is doing in my life but it’s very painful and feels endless…I hope there will be a baby for us at the end of this darkness. I also hope that God will give u a child of your own…I know your pain…During the day u are busy and don’t think about it and people just have no idea…but at night when it is quiet and your husband is asleep…you break down in painful tears begging God to hear your prayers and end your pain…
Hi Olga I just read about your story and would love to talk to u. Could you please email me s_ipyatak@windstream.net my son does not have a colon so I would love some advice on nutrition. Thank you and blessings
Congratulations to you and your husband. Started following ur blog not that long ago. I was crying when i read ur story. So glad you shared it. I dont know u but u are so strong and so faithful in the Lord. U are a great example to so many ladies. I hope and pray that u get better and that ur little baby is healthy and that God would bless u with many more years. Thank u for sharing. Will be praying for that ur pregnancy will get easier and u feeling better. May Gods bleesings be poured on ur family. Will be looking out for more updates. God bless.
Broke down in tears and immediately said a prayer of thanks once I saw the terribly sad picture of Sergi holding your precious baby in a coffin 😥
I said a prayer of thanks because my little girl will be 2 months tomorrow, although I don’t know what will happen in her lifetime, at this moment she is here with me and I am thankful.
Your story is incredible! Thank you for sharing. So happy for you and your new pregnancy!! May the Lord keep this little one and you in his arms forever.
I had tears when I finished reading ur story!!! I’m so sorry, I had no idea what u have been through !!! I’m so happy for ur family, especially now that have a Little boy! May God protected him and May God bless ur Little family!!
You’re a living miracle. So sorry to hear what happened to your family so many years ago. May God continue to bless your family and shine his grace upon you all.
Claudia
Hi Olga. I found this through Olga’s flavor factory. I read your story and I cried. I myself have two children and I can’t imagine going through something like this. Tbph I am not religious, but I am always amazed at the individual human spirit and I was so touched by yours. You seem like an amazing and strong woman. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thanks for sharing. Makes me do the ugly cry :,( praise God. His work in your life is astounding. GOD IS SO GOOD AND MERCIFUL ♡ AND your husband deserves a metal too, so many men would run to the bar ,or even quit on the marriage, give up in faith in God. So you both get metals from me. And glory be to God. I know thus isn’t fresh but God’s miracles always deserve praise. Thank you again for sharing. I have a husband Sergey too:)))) let me tell you, they are the best ones 🙂 hehe