I’ve heard many other adoptive parents who have gone through the process describe adoption as a roller coaster. There are so many highs and lows, but most of all, you feel completely helpless and out of control.
We started our paperwork in the fall of 2011. The paperwork itself was a mountain to climb. There were so many times of frustration because even that didn’t depend totally on us. We were at the mercy of others as we begged for their signatures or their part in proving that we will be worthy enough parents to be trusted with a child.
We saved for two years in order to be able to fund the adoption. TWO YEARS. We had to read so many books and take so many different courses about parenting and adoption. We subjected ourselves to unfolding our private lives and became completely open because that’s what would bring us to our children. It’s not exactly commonplace to submit paperwork and fingerprints for a criminal background check, get a lettters from our employers to confirm that we both have jobs and have a certified public accountant look at our bank accounts, paychecks, tax returns, and other assets and determine how much we’re worth. We had to visit the doctor to make sure we were healthy enough to be parents, and have out home and marriage inspected by a social worker.
We comforted ourselves with the thought that all this was necessary to prevent crooks from being allowed to adopt and told ourselves everything we had to deal with would be worth it once we brought the children home. When we finally had every single piece of paper notarized, apostilled, and finally sent to our agency, we felt like at last there was some headway and we did our part in this seemingly endless process.
Our dossier (the complete collection of paperwork) was sent to Russia and we were registered in the Krasnoyarsk region. We were told that parents were getting referrals quickly, like in the matter or 10 days! We were so excited and held our breath. Maybe we would get a referral quickly. Months passed and we still waited. We called out agency every once in a while to find out if they had heard anything. Each time we were told to keep waiting; they hadn’t heard anything.
Finally in November, we were told that WE were next to get a referral. We were the only ones from our agency that were waiting for a referral in Krasnoyarsk. One morning, both my husband and I were sleeping after working the night before. It had been an exhausting week before that, since my brother got married and all of my family came down for Thanksgiving and the wedding. I was really sick and after working 3 nights with a fever, finally fell asleep. That’s when we got a phone call from our agency.
Our case manager told Sergi that there was a possibility of two girls and we had to sign a letter, scan it and email it to them that very day, ASAP. Sounds really promising, right? Since in our paperwork we had documented that we wanted to adopt two children, a boy and a girl, we now had to sign a letter stating that we would be willing to take two girls. We both jumped out of bed and waited for the next email from our agency with the letter for us to sign. We were so excited! We emailed the signed letter to the agency and told ourselves, maybe we’ll get a referral tomorrow, or sometime this week?! We called our parents and told out siblings. It was such a joyful, exciting time.
The next day, our agency informed us that the letter was fine, but it needed to be signed and apostilled. I should have known. We went to the bank that day to get it notazired and posted it overnight to the state capital where we hired a courier to take it to the Department of State to get it apostilled and sent overnight to our agency.
And we waited again. Every time one of us would get an email, our hearts would start pounding and we rushed to open our phones just in case we were getting a referral. We knew that if we didn’t get a referral by Christmas, we wouldn’t get one until the end of January, since all of Russian workers are on a long vacation and nobody is working from New Years’ til the end of January. We kept hoping and praying.
A week before Christmas, just when our hopes we at the highest and we finally allowed ourselves to get excited, we heard the news that Russia was considering banning U.S. citizens from adopting Russian orphans. That day I felt like all my dreams came crashing to the ground. I cried and cried, but still held on to a glimmer of hope. Maybe the law wouldn’t pass. Russian adoptions had been threatened before, so I told myself to just hope for the best. I don’t watch or read the news but I checked it everyday now. As the law went through different stages, my heart sinked lower and lower as it passed every time. The day after Christmas, it was voted on unanimously by the Russian parliament. This morning, my husband and I found out that Putin had signed the law into effect.
I hate politics with a passion, so I don’t want to get into it too much, all I’m going to tell you is that the U.S. passed a law called the Magnitsky Act which bans Russian diplomats who are known human rights violators from coming to the U.S. or from having accounts in American banks. Russia retaliated with this new law, banning U. S. citizens from adopting Russian orphans.
We don’t know how all of this will end and it’s completely out of our hands. I never liked roller coaster rides, but I would tell myself to hold on, and eventually the ride would end. No matter how drastically I was being thrown around on the ride, I was buckled it safely, it was all an illusion and I wouldn’t be hurt. This time, the roller coaster is real and we don’t know how it will end. We are asking you to pray with us. Pray for all the parents waiting to adopt Russian orphans into their loving homes. Pray that all those innocent children would get a chance to be given a family and a place of belonging. I’ve been through a lot in life and I know that sometimes that ending isn’t “and they all lived happily ever after.” We know that our lives and our future are in God’s hands, so we’ll wait and see how He wants our story to continue.
[…] As many of you know, my husband and I have been in the process of adopting two children from Russia. In the past few weeks, there have been many disturbing events that were taking place that threatened our adoption. This morning, my husband and I found out that Putin had signed a law into effect banning Russian orphans from being adopted by US citizens. We are absolutely devastated. We don’t know what this will mean for our adoption; we are just waiting to hear how it will all unfold. You can read more on our adoption blog. […]
Olga and Sergi, I am so sorry to hear about this 😦 my heart breaks for you. You will be in my prayers.
Oh Olya, I am so sorry! May God give you strength to deal with this. Maybe they will allow those that already have all the paperwork to still adopt…. If not, have you considered Belarus or Ukraine, or is it all the same situation?
Much luck to you guys. These kids are lucky to be able to leave det dom and come to live with American families. As always, Russia does not think in favor of its people, but some political benefits, whatever they are. Hopefully you guys are far along in the process to be able to bring these kids here.
Praying for you and Sergei, Olga! Can’t imagine what you’re going through abd just praying that the Lords hand will be over you and those children. To give you peace and comfort and trust in Him only. Be blessed!
Prayers are sent your way! May the Lord give u peace and assurance at this hard time of uncertainty! “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28
Hi Olga, this is a touching blog. I went to Dolgeville with Milana so I saw this post – my local news station needs voices on this issue and I think your story is personal and genuine enough to warrant being heard. Mind if I send them this blog? Hope things pick up for you both, this is really a senseless example of politics getting in the way of the actual people in either country!
God bless you both. We are praying for you…
I saw the news yesterday, and though about you Olga. God help you. Maybe there is hope for those family’s that is in the process of adopting. I will pray for your family.
I’m so very sorry…. it certainly doesn’t look good. My heart aches for you and for the children too. You and the children have been added to my daily prayer list. May the Lord turn this dark hour into a blessing for you and Sergi and for all for the precious children. In the meantime keep leaning on the Lord. He is the only one who knows the beginning and the end.
Olga, we are praying for you and your family. May God help you during this time and He knows best.
We are praying for you.
I’m so sorry that this is happening. Hopefully something will work out. Have you guys thought of surrogacy?
praying for you. may God help you get thru this hard time and hopefully everything will work out and you will be able hold your children and finally bring them HOME!
Sergey and Olga,
Don’t get discouraged because the God we believe in is bigger than the laws of this land or “mighty” Mr. Putin. Me and my family will keep you and Sergey on prayer.
Nick and Nataliya
I really touched by your story. All these days I think about you and keep you in my prayers. May God give you His strenght to go throw this.
Dear Olga,
When i was reading your blog, I felt like I was going back in time in our own life… we went through the same and even worse… we have had a lot of things going on with us – changing workers, people, agencies (in the midst of a process) and all that… By the mercy of God, we do have four beautiful children, all adopted from Russia (different places in Russia), but it sure took a LOT (I probably aged much during those years…)…. It’s been five years since our last process. We will be praying for you, dear people… IF this won’t work, try Ukraine (yes, I know, that it will be a LOT of other paperwork, specifically for that country, but at least, you know, it will work!).
Olga I’m not even sure where to start. I’ll be keeping you in my prayers. ….
Olga, I really don’t know what to say. I’m just sitting in front of my lap top in tears….. Just know that there are many many people who love you and are praying for you and Sergei.
You will remain in our thoughts and prayers.
Olga and Sergi,
Almost daily I was checking on your website to hear good news going forward with your adoption, until we heard these news on the radio. God knows your hearts, and He does hear your prayers and everyone else who is praying for you. Somehow it will work out. Miracles still happen. God will carry you through this sad time.
Dearest Olga and Sergi,
First of all, I TRULY apologize for the comment I made before – I was one of those ‘well meaning’ people, I really am sorry (made my comment BEFORE I read your blog… sorry)…. I wish, I could erase that remark… As I said, yes, we went through a LOT of pain during our processes, and I know that it can hurt badly (our first trip was suppose to be right when 9/11 happened – I thought, the whole world crushed on us… :(… but that was only the beginning…
Yet, our God is Amazing God, He will get you through! Just don’t lose your hope in Him. We will keep praying for you.
With prayers and love,
Tanya
I’m sad for you. My husband and I are just days away from waiting for a match (which in domestic adoption seems parallel to you getting a referral). i can’t imagine having things stripped away right at the boiling point! I am praying for you. You don’t know me. I’ve commented on here once before and have been checking frequently for updates and thinking of you often..saying a prayer each time. You are correct, it’s in God’s hands. He has your future planned, keep trusting. I know it’s hard…but hold on tight. God won’t let go of you!
Love in Christ,
Nichole
Psalm 27:1 The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.
Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
May you both be strong in the Lord. Praying and thinking about you guys.
Bojih Blagoslaven’, Howard Family.
I thought that law will be in force only after a year? But may be I am wrong… I really hope it will work out for you!!!
Olya, seryozha, Gods blessings, just heard off the wire, some couples are going to russia and pushing the process through. They are letting some 20+ kids complete the process. Look into it. We are praying for you guys. Try contacting some organizations that represents some of those american couples for info. You probably know better than me. Godspeed to you guys.
It’s been a month since you last posted on here, I keep checking back hoping for some good news. Just letting you know that you are still in our prayers every single day. Blessings to you and your family.
Any more news?? Olga don’t give up, God is miracle!!!!!!! our friends cousins were adopting 2 boys from russia and they went through lots and lots of paperwork and signatures and lots of Prayers, and thank God they finally let them go, finally they flew in Sacramento last saturday, but thank you all to God for his miracle!! at first when they flew in they said that they’re not letting the boys go, but with all that prayers they fianlly let them go!! so dont give up we’re praying and keep us updated:)
Hi Alena!
I’m so happy to hear about your cousin! Is it Tanya and Roman by any chance?
We are still waiting. Since we never even got a referral, right now the answer from Russia is “no”.
The US government is still trying hard to convince Russia to allow all families who were registered in Russia to complete their adoptions too, so we’re hopeful. Thanks for the support:).
Yes it is them:) and those boys are adorable 🙂 i’m soo happy for them:) and actually they’re my friends cousin not mine:) but i just wanted to share that causae we prayed alot for them and hope that one day you guys will be as happy as they are:) i will definatly keep your family in my prayer! Be Blessed and hope to hear the good news soon:):)
Olga,
It looks like your family is very set to adopting, but have you ever considered maybe fostering or adopting in the US. There are so many kids here in our country who don’t have loving homes. My husband and I are blessed with two little boys and even though we can have our “own” kids we have been looking into fostering, we feel like it’s God’s calling to us. Those kids (in foster homes) are not perfect, they come from wrecked families with abusive or addictive parents, but to God- they are his children. Just because my son is born into a Christian home- it doesn’t mean that God loves him more than another 2 year old boy, whose parents are drug addicts. If God loves them the same I know with His help I can love them the same also. I don’t your feelings on this, but to my family a whole world has been opened. The thought of such small children all alone with no parental love just breaks my heart. Even though we can have our own children, this is an opportunity to serve those kids who are already here. We have been praying about this and are also waiting on God to send us an opportunity (with time and resources).
I hope I didn’t offend you in anyway. I’m sure God will guide your family into the correct path, and God’s timing is always perfect.
Blessings to your family!
V
[…] important to us to adopt from Russia, since that’s where our heritage is from, but when that didn’t work out, we moved on to providing a loving home for children in our own […]
[…] As many of you know, my husband and I have been in the process of adopting two children from Russia. In the past few weeks, there have been many disturbing events that were taking place that threatened our adoption. This morning, my husband and I found out that Putin had signed a law into effect banning Russian orphans from being adopted by US citizens. We are absolutely devastated. We don’t know what this will mean for our adoption; we are just waiting to hear how it will all unfold. You can read more on our adoption blog. […]